my mind…my heart

one of the best things that one could have in this world is a friend who is always willing to take you in when you need help and you know what makes it exceed even the best? you get to use his PC which is connected to the internet wahahahaha ;p that, ladies and gentlemen, is the reason why i was able to write this at past 2 am. i am in a very dear friend’s room right now, using his very dear computer, clinging very dearly to what is left of my sanity (kidding hehehe) i am, among all other days, saner than ever before that is why i still have strength left to remain awake until this wee hour of dawn, just so i can come up with some decent lecture notes that i can use for tomorrow’s class schedules.i have four classes to finish tomorrow and all these have different topics so i have four different preparations to make. i guess i’ll have to skip jogging later then since i don’t think it would be safe for me to jog given my shaky physical condition.
i had to ask my friend to take me in for the night because, as usual, we (unfortunate people connected to LASURECO) are suffering from one of the plagues of MSU (hehehe), "brownout na naman"…buti na lang he never complains though i have displaced him from his comfy bed quite a number of times already. right now, he is once again sleeping in a mattress in the floor while i get to sleep comfortably later, in his bed. bad me noh? but i am thankful that i have him to run to in times of dire need be it technical or emotional though i don’t really tell him all the details. he offers his place for me to retreat to and does not ask much questions, simply waiting if i’ll decide to tell him or not. him accomodating me though not really understanding, is doing me great good. it gives me a feeling of having a refuge to turn to during those times that i only want to rest for a while, to take a break from the pressures of my little world and not talk about what really is bothering me until i get to understand everything, enough to talk about it. WAY TO GO JUN!!!
that is just one of the things that i am so thankful for these days…i also have one friend whom i did not know cared so much until i learned that he went out last night just to find me and see if i am okay. he got a little worried because he somehow sensed, as he always did, that i am not really that fine as i am trying valiantly to be. he actually promised that he’ll find me if i decide to run away but i was not expecting thet he’d go to the lengths of doing what he did last night given that people at home knew where i was (i was in mindnolia, an internet cafe here in MSU). he just checked coz it was already late and when he saw that i was in good hands, he left the internet cafe. i did not know of this until yesterday afternoon…thank you so much harold : ) little things like these actually give me the strength to keep going
yesterday afternoon, i also had the opportunity to talk to someone so very dear to me…a friend, a sister, a confidante and someone who shares the same pain i have. she actually told me that though painful, she’d have to let me go so i can be happy as i deserve to be. she said she would be willing to let go of the dreams that she and her family had for us if that will allow me to move on and find happiness. i do not know how to describe what i felt that time, i simply held her hand while she cried and told her that my love for her and her family will never ever change, that they will always be part of me, whatever happens. bam, you’ll always be in me heart and, you and your family will always remain valued…i love you so much…